Showing posts with label vacation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vacation. Show all posts

Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Snippets from my trip to Hampi aka God’s Own Lego Land


At the very outset, let me tell you that this post is not a ‘travelogue’. If you are planning a trip to Hampi, this post will be of as much use to you as Rahul Gandhi is to the Congress party. Now that I have linked this blog to current affairs and proved how in the know I am, let’s get to the point.

This Holi weekend, I had the extreme pleasure of visiting Hampi. Most trips are the result of careful and meticulous planning for weeks, if not months, while some are of the impromptu pack-your-bag-and-hum-jo-chalne-lage-chalne-lage-hai-ye-raaste variety. Well, this trip was the fruit of me yelling ‘I WANT TO GO TO HAMPI’ repeatedly in a Whatsapp group till my partner-in-only-the-wander-type-of-lust Nivedita suggested that we make good of the Holi weekend and put an end to my tantrum.

I won’t bore you with details of how to haggle with your auto wala or write a ’13 things you must do in Hampi or you are a loser’ type of post. This is more of ‘to ye rahe Hampi ke mukhya samachar’, a list of things I remember from the trip. More for myself than for anyone else (I’m really living up to my blog’s name)


1. I remember being borderline terrified as the date for the trip came closer. You think it’s because we were two girls going to a strange land on the day of one of the rowdiest festivals in India? Pssshhhh! Such concerns are for mortals. What terrified me is the thought of spending 3-odd days with just one other person, and of course my social anxiety for company.
Put me in a group of people or give me the protective veil of a chat window, and I can smother my anxiety enough to come across as a decent conversationalist.  But 3 whole days of one on one interaction with another human? Gulp.  Doesn’t matter that the person in question is one of my best friends, I will still shudder at the possibility. Turns out, my fears were mostly unfounded.

2. I remember not believing that we’re actually going to Hampi even while packing my bags in a zombie like state at 1 am on the day we were supposed to leave.

3. The random and free flowing conversation with Nivedita in the otherwise silent sleeper bus, aided of course by the lack of data connection on our phones. Tee Hee.

4. The first view of the boulders in Hampi. If Kerala is God’s Own Country, Hampi has to be God’s Own Lego Land. The way in which the HUGE boulders are arranged makes you marvel at the Creator – nature, God, I don’t know. I would like to think that baby Hanuman (who is supposed to have been born here) played with these boulders throughout the land and refused to put his toys back like any other kid, resulting in these incredible formations.



5. The absolute and welcome relief I felt because of the change in scenery – from seeing glitzy malls that were built in front of your eyes and will become ghosts of their present selves in the next few years, to seeing the creations of nature that have been around for centuries and have seen the rise and fall of dynasties.

6. The easy and generous smiles of both the tourists and the locals. From the old, wrinkled woman who needed no permission to smear us with colour accompanied by a genuine ‘Happy Holi!’, to the pretty foreigner who smiled shyly while passing us on the road, it was truly a Hampi, I mean happy place.

7. The local boys who brought their fistfuls of colour to within 3 inches of my face before cocking their heads and asking ‘OK?’ and applying the colour only when I nodded my consent.  

8. Doing the bhangra with coloured (with Holi colours, not being racist) people from many continents, including our own, in the middle of the street as a local band struck up a crazy tempo.



9. Getting my forehead smeared with the most stubborn gulaal by a grinning man. For all I know, I’m still carrying his sindoor in my maang after so many days.

10. Not looking into the mirror for three days (our room didn’t have one) and not caring what we looked like, discovering our tanned faces only in selfies later.

11. Exclaiming ‘What the Hell’ and ‘What the F*&k’ at least twice an hour while exploring the temples and being inwardly thankful that there were no idols in most temples to judge my profanity. The reason for the interjections? The sheer skill and willpower that must have gone into making the Hampi structures.

If God was playing Lego with the boulders, the kings’ favourite game must be Jenga, which they played with huge blocks of stone placed perfectly over one another, making the most breathtaking and enduring structures in the bargain.  And I, who can’t even carve an apple into proper slices in one attempt, have the utmost regard for the long lost sculptors who made living art that has stood the test of time. Hampi – The Most Epic Game of Jenga Ever Played.

12. Making it a point to touch and run my hand along every temple and structure I came across, in a feeble attempt to absorb some of the stories that the stones have stood witness to. We can only imagine the kind of stories that the stones would tell if they could.



13. Climbing the steps of the Hanuman temple, and then going further ahead on the cliff to watch the sunset. At one point, I thought I wouldn't be able to navigate the formidable stones (partly because of my infinite wisdom of wearing a maxi dress curtailing my movements) and paused in the middle. Watching a mediocre view was good enough, better than missing a step and bashing my head open on the cliff. But then suddenly it wasn’t enough, and I continued walking till I reached the edge of the cliff, just in time for the sun to disappear. And as I sat there alone amidst total strangers looking at me strangely because I had the most ridiculous grin on my face, I knew it was worth it.

14. Hearing and understanding conversations of locals in Kannada, my mother’s tongue, the language of my childhood.

15. Sitting in a lawn beneath a tree after God knows how much time, staring unashamedly at people going about their business. Rediscovering my favourite pastime – people watching.

16. The family of women who plonked their toddler with us, then settled around us in a gaggle, and before we could comprehend what was happening, clicked a picture with us thinking we were foreigners. I don’t want to imagine their disappointment when someone with a more racially discerning eye points out that they have a photo with a set of desis, or the vehemence with which the photo will then be deleted.

17. The potential generosity of a group of school children in another lawn, who again thought we were foreigners and debated whether to offer us their food for us to ‘taste some of their Indian food’, and then smiling shyly when I turned to look at them.

18. The caretaker aunty’s whistle protesting noisily when I clambered into a heritage building that was apparently non-clamberable. The look that she gave me later made me feel like I was sheltering Dawood Ibrahim in my sling bag.

19. Lakshmi the temple elephant. Regardless of how many elephant pictures you double tap on Instagram, seeing a live elephant swaying in front of you is an unbeatable experience. Touching the sheer power of her wrinkly trunk reminds you that there are bigger things out there than your human ego, and that elephants are basically just too darned cute for their own good.




On a completely unrelated and mature note, if someone has a spare baby elephant (I know they’re called calves) up for adoption, I’m willing to work three jobs to give it my family name and raise it as my own.

20. The late night *cough* illegal *cough* coracle ride across the river. We didn't reach in time to catch the last boat to the other side, and what followed was a fun, adventurous trip crouched in a small, wet coracle in utter darkness with 12 other people (we later found out that it should accommodate only 6-9 people), which included 3 raucous boys singing songs in Russian.

If anyone from my family is reading this, the above account is totally a figment of imagination, a sad attempt of getting some adventure in an utterly boring trip. I swear.

21. Sitting with feet dipped into the gurgling river, trying to believe that this is actually happening, failing to do so, and then getting ridiculously happy to know that all of it is real – the cool water, your relieved toes, the sun getting ready to set, and the huge smile that creeps onto your face.

22. Dancing and jumping in the rain and experiencing HAILSTONES in March on the day you’re scheduled to leave. Running out as it starts raining might seem like a cheesy, wannabe, Yash Chopra movie thing to do, but when it happens, you have no choice to be all filmy and stretch your arms to catch the raindrops.

23. Learning how to navigate a coracle on your own during a ride, doing it admirably well considering it’s your first time, and then giving up when your biceps, or the fat that resides in that general area, start wailing in protest.



24. NOT TOUCHING MY MUSIC PLAYER FOR THE ENTIRE TRIP. This has to be the biggest phenomenon of the trip. I had charged my music player and double checked the earphones before leaving, in the hope that they would shield me during times when words failed me. They came back untouched. There were conversations and there were silences, but no gaps so huge that they had to be filled with music.

That’s quite enough memories for a trip that lasted hardly three days, and Hampi has ensured that there will be many more such memories in the future. Hampi, you weird place you, you’re like the wise old woman who was a legendary beauty in her prime, and now has all the wisdom of a life well lived, to be shared with anyone who comes with an open mind.


Am I glad that I threw that Whatsapp tantrum. 

Sunday, 23 February 2014

11 things that I learnt at the beach

I’ve been trying to start writing again on the blog that I earnestly started over a year ago, but failed to come up with any subject strong enough to make me stop checking my phone every five minutes and actually get down to writing. I also went to Andaman on a much needed vacation recently, and what better way to resuscitate your blog than to humble-brag about your beach vacation?
In between standing with my feet in the water and splashing my friends, I realized some new (and not so new) things at the beach, and am now dutifully listing them down. This post talks about beaches, is made up of a list (so is everything else on the Internet right now) and has a bit of self-realization thrown in. Now if only I could work some cats into this post, it would be sure-fire viral material. Too bad cats hate water and wouldn't come anywhere near a beach. Sigh.

1.        Beaches are awesome!

Didn’t I say I learnt some not so new things? This is the first. Well, I know some of us aren’t water people, whatever that’s supposed to mean. But I’m yet to see a person who gets sad or angry whenever they see a spectacular beach. It’s even more difficult to be depressed when you see small kids building sand castles (and you ‘accidentally’ walk over them). Another beach ritual is to be mock angry when someone dunks you in water, all while having the time of your life. Turns out, the people who turned natural phenomena like sand and waves and salty water into a billion dollar tourism industry knew what they were doing, and any money spent to get closer to the beach is money well spent.

2.       It doesn’t matter what you look like, as long as you’re having fun

You know what the magazine centre spreads with models looking stunning on a beach do? THEY LIE. If you behave at the beach like you’re supposed to, you can’t look well turned out for too long. It’s very difficult to look good while covered in sand with your wet hair plastered across your face, but going ahead and looking that way is a great way to get rid of your vanity. Because when you’re having enough fun, it ceases to matter. Yes, it may come in your way if you look like a red faced Uakari while trying to catch the eye of that buff foreigner, but a happy face is any day more stare worthy than a grumpy good looking one. Trust me.

3.       Put away your camera

This is a corollary of the above point. You know how we’ve been blasted with the phrase ‘It’s not about the number of breaths in your life, it’s about the moments that take your breath away’? Well I’ve made a new one- ‘It’s not about how many beautiful photographs you take, it’s about having such a good time that you forget to take photos’. Yes, chronicling your super amazing life, and especially your expensive vacation may seem like a good idea, but you’re never going to go back and see most of the photos that you click anyway. At best, these pictures will spend the rest of their days attention-whoring in a Facebook album called ‘SuN, sAnd & sUrF’. So don’t be afraid to get wet just because you have a camera in your hand. Toss that camera aside, I’m sure it will make a soft landing on the sand. Really look at the place you’re in, and get soaked in the beauty of a new place. If it’s important enough, your brain will remember it without a watered down virtual copy.

4.       It’s OK to let go of control sometimes.


Waves are arguably the best part about beaches. But if you notice, they also tend to have a mind of their own. At times when I didn't want my clothes to get wet, I've actually specified the length of my shorts to the sea OUT LOUD and asked the waves not to get higher than that. Ummm...did I say I did that? I meant my friend. Anyway, that obviously didn't happen and the waves crashed into the beach without worrying about a puny human’s sartorial problems. Once you get in, the water tumbles you around like a washing machine and destroys your attempts at looking halfway graceful, and that’s when it hits you- go with the flow! Stop trying to control the water, or anything else. Just tweak your reactions to the ebb and flow, and who knows, one day you’ll be the one riding the (metaphorical) waves confidently.

5.       Waves can also teach you a lot.

Speaking of waves, I realized that there is a lot to be learnt from them. They certainly look beautiful, the surf looking like a million white centipedes rushing towards the beach just for you. But they also tell you that no matter what, it’s very important to keep doing your job, to persevere. Regardless of whether anyone’s watching, regardless of whether you end up on a powdery soft beach or on jagged rocks, you just have to keep doing what you have to. Observe. When a wave has had its time in the sun (on the beach actually) it rushes back to the sea. In the process, it also sometimes pulls down a new wave excitedly rushing towards the shore. Chances are, you and I will meet such people in your life too, but when I do, I’ll think of the waves and get back to work.

6.       Crabs are inspiration, not food

I know being a vegetarian and half a Cancerian has probably clouded my vision, but I think crabs are brilliant creatures that should be looked at, and not just when they’re on your dinner table doused in garlic butter. Sit down on the beach and take a look at them. They can be colourful or camouflaged by the sand and difficult to spot, but it’ll be worth it. They go about their business, ignorant of the flock of tourists encroaching on their space. Crabs always walk sideways, going back and forth till they get what they want. They will tease the edge of water, but will not get pulled in by the waves unless they want to. And once they find something they like, they grab hold with their pincers and never let go. If only more people learnt something from crabs than the taste of their meat.

7.       Couples are like crabs.

Phoebe from FRIENDS taught us that lovers are like lobsters. Wrong. Truth is, lovers, especially those on their honeymoon, are like crabs. They will spot you, give you sideways glances and sneak up on you, before finally pouncing on you with ‘Can you click a photo of us’? I have met enough such bashful couples to know that in a few years, ‘Honeymoon photo clickers’ will be a real career (Remember you heard it here first). You just have to be discreet, ever vigilant not to miss a moment, and have a stomach that can stand PDA. So when you go to the beach, remember to stock up on your good karma by being a capturer of young love. I have.

8.       Sunscreen is a waste of money

And I have the burnt skin to show for it. No matter how much SPF and UVA and UVB protection it contains, your sunscreen is no match for the sun and salty water. One dunk in the ocean and all the promises of your sunscreen being waterproof are washed away (pun intended). So put the time you waste slathering sunscreen to better use, and embrace the tan that a day out will give you. I don’t know what’s not to love about a little colour anyway. A tan is like a hickey from the sun, proof that you had a good time with a star- so it’s best to show it off. Until your skin starts peeling off like a snake’s, that is.

9.       Beaches are the best solutions for your inhibitions.

There is a reason why there are topless and nude beaches and not nude desert and jungle safaris. There is something about the setting that makes people get rid of their inhibitions. Whether it is the babe in the bikini tanning herself on the sand, or the portly uncle who weighs down the waves in just a pair of shorts, beaches and hesitation don’t mix. Even conservative ladies in salwar kameezes gigglingly dare to pull up their salwars after some encouragement, something that they wouldn’t dream of doing anywhere else.

10.   Also, your hang ups don’t stand a chance.

Germophobes and OCD people, beaches are no place for you. Even if you have a lot of hang ups about everything else in life, the ocean cares two hoots about what’s acceptable to you and what’s not. I’m  a carrier of enough hang ups to know about this stuff. You can drink all the mineral water you want, but a little sea water of questionable origin and composition is going to sneak into your mouth anyway. There’s nothing you can do about it. And after you get sand EVERYWHERE, all your insistence on a hot water tub will melt away as you gladly rush towards a cold shower.
P.S. – The humble hotel soap that we look down upon is actually not quite so bad, when your fancy gel douche decides to actually act like a douche bag and not lather up.

11.   Company matters

This one is true for everywhere in the world, but especially on the beach. It is great to have fun in the sand with beach junkies, but looking at your not-so-water-friendly companion test the shallow waters (literally) is priceless. With the right people, any place can turn into a party in no time, and the bonds formed on a beach are forever. And above all, it is necessary to enjoy your own company when you sit alone in the sand after the fun is had, and not feel lonely when you have only the sand and the sound of waves for company. This is what you will take back from the beach, along with pocketfuls of the sneaky sand that is impossible to get rid of, which will keep reminding you of the ocean when you’re back home.