How Candy Crush sweetened my life

Before we dive into this candy flavored article with the punny title, let’s take a minute to ponder over the writer’s bravery in attempting to write this piece of junk literature. I mean, sure, I’ll be called a witch and persecuted for advocating something as evil as Candy Crush- just like in the golden old days. I’ll probably have to change my address and live under a fake identity for life, but what is a blogger if not courageous? So without worrying about my life or property (Edit: I have no property to call my own), I will submit my argument about the ways in which the most frustrating game we smartphone junkies have ever seen has guided me.

1. You can’t choose what cards you get handed out

In this case, the candies that you get to crush. Every Candy Crush game gives you a random arrangement of candies which you have no control over, and you just have to make the best moves you can to get on top of the game. Swap ‘Game’ with ‘Life’ and you have no better metaphor for doing the best you can with what you have.

2. Scores are important, but so is achievement

You know how the game has not one, but TWO goals- get a high score and also achieve the target? Even if you achieve a three star score but fail to do what the level asks you to do, Candy Crush throws a hissy fit and refuse to let you go any further. In real life too, it’s not only about the zeroes in your paycheck, but also about the goals you set for yourself and whether or not you achieve them. And you need to be quite the multitasker if you want to keep standing on these two boats and not drown.

3. Praise is the sweetest pill

You might think that we as a species have advanced enough not to need encouragement from a fake, coded game, but you’re mistaken. Hordes of people would have left the game if it weren’t for the periodic ‘Sweet!’, or ‘Divine!’ or ‘Delicious!’ that it keeps tossing our way (Calm down Candy Crush!) As they say ‘If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, does it still make a sound?’, would you still go on working if no one was there to appreciate it? So whenever someone around you explodes more candy than you expect them to, praise them. It’ll go a long way.

4. Failure is imminent

Unless you’re a wonder kid whose mother has been giving you Candy Crush lessons since you were in the womb (a not so subtle reference to Abhimanyu and the Chakravyuh), there is no way that you haven’t failed at some level in the game, sometimes miserably so. You might try every move in the book but still end up with one pesky jelly square that spells your doom. That’s just preparation for real life. You might do everything right, but still end up some moves short of your happy ending. Fret not, the beauty of the game (life, not Candy Crush) is that you can start all over again.

5. Being on the bench for a while is good

Just when you think you’ve gotten the hang of the game, and are bursting with ambition to conquer those colourful pixels, your five lives die out on you and give you a timeout, postponing your victory by 30 minutes. Instead of counting down the minutes, take a step back, and get your head out of the game for a while. Look around, introspect, and think about what you could have done better. It might delay the sweet taste of success, but it will make it sweeter than the candy you’re trying to explode.

6. You can either choose the easy way, or the right way

Candy Crush is as shamelessly commercial as it is addictive, selling you extra moves or tricks, all at an additional price of course. Gamers (?) who have too much money to spare on virtual candy buy these moves to reach the next level. There will always be people who take shortcuts in real life too, buying or manipulating their way to the top, leaving you to struggle with your honest, hardworking ways. But trust me, the sense of achievement and independence that you get from doing things without a leg up (or without spending Rs. 110 on a candy smashing hammer) cannot be bought. For everything else, there’s Mastercard.

7. Blackmail is real

At some point, you’re merrily doing your thing in the Candy Crush Dreamworld, sure that you’ll come out on top of the level, when the useless Odus decides to fall down and kill you! Or consider the frustrating time bombs that go off after Level 100, who make you sacrifice precious moves to keep them from going off. WHY GOD WHY?! Again- lesson for life. There will always be unavoidable bum-cavities (keeping it PG-13) who will stand in your way for no reason other than for the pure joy for it. The only thing you can do is up your game, render them helpless and watch them feel fail as you emerge victorious in your battle against…well, candy. Take that, Odus you stupid owl with gravity issues!

8. Most people are not concerned about your troubles

Most of us love to gloat about the number of friends and well wishers we have, safe under the illusion of a large support system. But when the time comes and it’s a question of your life and death (not being dramatic, just talking about the game), you’re met with responses like ‘The next person to invite me to Candy Crush will be BLOCKED!’ Try this in real life too. When the going is good, your life’s news feed will be full of friends happy to bask in your success. But you truly need help to level up in life; the metaphoric door will be shut in your face so fast that you wouldn’t know what hit you. And on your side of the door, you’ll find only a couple of friends who have your back. And guess what? That’s always enough.

9. ‘Support’ is not a bad word

Though it’s shameful to admit, I’ve been stuck on a certain level for many days, giving up tens of lives with nothing to show for it. It was then that Candy Crush reduced the target score, helping me to finally heave myself out of that horrid level which very nearly gave me Candy Crush PTSD. Never did I think that I would feel slighted by a game’s offer of help, but this is what we do in real life too. We think ourselves so invincible, that any gesture of help or kindness is seen as a crutch, and is rejected faster than you can say ‘Chocolate Mountains’. But taking that helping hand is better than staying in a chasm of failure alone, so next time someone offers it to you, take it. And don’t forget to return the favour.

10. Life has a way of sorting itself out

While playing Candy Crush initially, I used to give up when I couldn’t find my groove in the first few moves, and just go through the moves to end the life. But sometimes, there comes across a combination that saves your game, and you stare at the screen incredulously as the candy puzzle rights itself and bursts away to glory. Hell, there have been times when I have made a wrong swipe which turned out to be for the best, and everything came cascading down (which is a good thing). So don’t worry yourself over making the right moves all the time. You never know when you might come across a masterstroke that sets everything right.

I know it might seem a little pretentious to peg so many metaphors and life lessons to a simple finger-swiping game, but these are real thoughts I have had while playing it, which I confessed at the risk of being branded a naïve person with too much time on her hands. I guess all I’m trying to say is; if I send you a Candy Crush saga request, don’t block me, OK? It's for your own good.