Y-E-S..It's that easy!

(Disclaimer: This post is not inspired by the movie 'Yes Man'. I have never watched the movie, though I love Jim Carrey.)

That we live in a man-eat-dog-eat-anything-that-stands-in-its-way world is beyond obvious. This fact had been established in the early 2000’s and we are currently in the third generation of devising coping mechanisms to survive and not get eaten by this world, I think. Stopping and smelling the roses is so 19^th Century. Thinking about what you would make of your life on your deathbed is obsolete too, not to mention too morbid to think about when you’re healthy, happy and in your 20’s. So that strategy goes out the window for most of us. The strategy that has gained currency and maintained its charm is ‘Learn to say NO’. Say no to unnecessary work. Refuse that oh-so-tempting bribe being offered to you. Say No to the Megan Fox look-alike that’s been staring at you across the table, for fear of being rejected. Say No to the extra pastry that you want to pop in to your mouth at the party. Look the other way when a beautiful outfit stares at you from the mall display, you’ve already gone overboard with your budget. And above all, say No to yourself whenever you set your eyes on something you know your heart desires, because by all accepted standards, it is unattainable.

We have been raised to think that denying things to ourselves, living without them, letting go of things we want, is the way to build character. The more things we deny, the more resilient we become. The more worldly wise. The more survival worthy. Sure, throwing a tantrum in the middle of the store for a Buzz Lightyear toy and still not getting it does teach a child important lessons about patience and earning you’re your place in the world. But you can’t be a 5 year old coveting a toy forever. There is a time to build character and a time to build your future. After all, you can’t be in school and learn life lessons forever.

Saying no is a way to get the trash out of your life. On the other hand, saying yes is a way to enhance and landscape your life better. How many times have we silenced the voice in our head that goes ‘YES!’ and gone for a more seemingly pragmatic, ‘No, Thanks’ ?

This example might seem a little far-fetched but Barack Obama based his entire last Presidential campaign on just 3 words, ‘Yes, we can! The power of these 3 words fuelled his race to the Presidential post. ’ (That he’s still struggling for a war cry this time is an entirely different matter). If the power of yes can make a person the most powerful man on earth, think of the abundant changes that it can make to our comparatively easier lives.

Think about it. Replace every No that has been said in your life to a Yes. Maybe your parents yelled NO at you so many times, the first words out of your tiny pink mouth were not a tear jerking ‘Mamma’ or ‘Dadda’ but a ‘No’. Any time you wanted to pull your elder sister’s hair, the response was resounding ‘No!’, often in chorus from both your parents. Change that to a Yes and you have a very happy you and a screaming sister, maybe with a bald spot. Not a bad scenario when you’re 3 years old.

The time when you are in school and were not allowed to attend singing lessons because you were a boy or basketball practice as you were a girl. I’m not saying that you would’ve been a world-class singer performing at the Albert Hall (Why not, though?) or a female Michael Jordan, but a yes could have given a precious boost to your interest at the time.

That time just after your board exams when you really want to go for Arts, because you know in your heart that Shakespeare’s writings or movie Godfather inspire you more than the dissected innards of a frog ever will, but your father ticks the Science section because it is more respectable. If you could say ‘Yes’ to yourself at the time, you could be penning a book or a script instead of poring over other people’s literature in your free time.

The scenarios are endless, the possibilities boundless. You don’t notice the gregarious girl at college stealing glances at you because your friends say she’s out of your league. You internalize the No that your friends convince you about and never allow yourself to take the plunge. Why? Because sacrifice is the bedrock of character remember? But sometimes, it is worth it to say yes to the potential injury that your self esteem might suffer and go for it.

Saying yes in the professional environment is considered hara-kiri by most people. Saying yes burdens you with work that other people say no to, makes people take you for granted, and generally just walk all over you. But go right ahead and give yourself the chance to say yes. More work never killed anyone (though some people never take the risk) and the more you work, the more you get ahead of all your colleagues who are busy shaking their heads to new work and new opportunities.  Make your boss say yes to the earth shattering new idea that you’ve gotten while contemplating in the shower. If it works, that means a new found respect and a bonus pat on the back for you. If it doesn’t, well, you can file it under Research and Development and dust your hands off it. Easy peasy.

Everyone who has read ‘The Secret’ or watched ‘The Secret laws of attraction’ knows that the Universe gives you what you ask for it. Demand happiness from it and you get it back. Demand love and success and it answers your call. Similarly, say Yes to the Universe’s scheme of things and you will find that the Universe smiles and says yes right back at you. Ok ok, I get it. You don’t believe in destiny and the Universal Plan. Even if you have a scientific bent of mind, you have to believe in energy. You are made of it, so you can’t disagree, can you? So even with your scientific bent of mind, you have to agree that like matter attracts each other. That is why water doesn’t go bonding with oil, lions don’t go out making herds with sheep and the gang of beautiful girls at your college doesn’t go around talking to the guys in the science lab. Basic nature I tell you. In exactly the same way, positive energy is attracted to more positive energy. So the more you say yes to yourself, the more the Universe looks at you and goes ‘Here’s a positive likeable fellow. Let’s shoot him with a few more good things’. Can’t hurt to try it out then.

Then there’s the case of love. You’ve said yes to the music lessons, your boss loves you and the Universe is conspiring to give you all good things and more. But what will you do with destiny’s bounty is you don’t have anyone to share it with? So the most important yes that you will ever say is the Yes to love. Stop eyeing the hot girl at the café and imagining she will say ‘Yes, yes, oh yes’ repeatedly. That was not where I was going. That is where you hope all this eventually leads to but that’s not the entire point. Give yourself a chance to say yes to your parents’ love, even if they didn’t buy you the Buzz Lightyear toy when you were 5. Hehe. Allow them to love you and more importantly, allow yourself to love them even when you grow up and public displays of affection to your parents are considered uncool. Allow them to have a say in your life. Even if they don’t know how the latest smart phone works, they still have more experience than you ever could. Answer in the affirmative when your sibling wishes to spend time with you, even if it is at the cost of watching a match or hanging out with your friends. Do it even if your scars remind you that they have scratched at you till you bled when you were kids.

Say yes to rescuing a cat or a puppy, even though you might not like animals or the animal is stuck in a gutter. All you need to do is wash off your hands afterwards. Say yes to giving out a coin to a blind beggar in the train, even if the papers say he’s probable richer than you. It’s not for him, it’s good for you.

Now back to the hot girl at the café. Say yes to flirting with her. She might be the one you’re looking for. And when you realize it, say yes to spending a lifetime with her, regardless of your commitment phobia or the belief that a better model is right around the corner. But if she’s not, say yes to honesty and let her down with dignity. You owe it to her and also to yourself. (Girls, interchange the gender denoting pronouns)

To employ a shamefully horrendous cliché, Yes and No are two sides of the same coin. When you say yes to honesty, you say no to greed and bribery. When you say yes to courage, you say no to injustice and cowardice. And when you say Yes to yourself, you say no to all the forces that have been holding you back forever. It’s just about making a choice honest to yourself, even at the risk of being wrong sometimes. So go ahead and give yourself a chance to say yes. You’ll be happier for it when you’re on that death bed :]